Attending social functions

Social Functions (Marriages/Birthdays/Housewarming etc) in India are the same like anywhere else in the world - lot of cheer, people in their best attire for the occasion, lot of good food, smiles, people taking pics etc. But there is one thing which differentiates the Indian ones from others - Chaos. Like any other aspect of life in India, chaos (and confusion and everything going wrong) is essential part of functions. I’ve put down below what I’ve personally faced and observed while attending them.

You are either the first or last to arrive.

You realized you forgot to shave and dad is upset about it that you’re looking like an idiot.

You wave to someone, he doesn’t notice and everyone else except him has seen you waving to him. You scratch your head in disappointment.

You see someone wave towards you, you wave back with a smile, you later realize he was saying Hello to the person behind you.

The old lady/gentleman you enthusiastically go and greet doesn’t recognize you.

The old lady/gentleman you failed to greet, says to others - See, this guy has become very haughty these days.

The kids are running around, atleast one of them falls down and cries loudly.

The person you dont want to be with, comes and sits beside you and photographer clicks a pic of you both.

The person you planned to meet either didnt turn up or is out of country or is busy with his kids. Since there is no one else of your age group, you end up having a conversation with people who are 20 younger to you or 20 years elder to you.

Your favorite item in the menu is over by the time you have food or was not prepared properly.

Papads from some people’s plates fly away.

Atleast two people have tripped over the wires brought by the photographer or videographer.

You are unable to see the whats going on on the stage, because the photographer and videographer are standing between you and them.

The washroom is always occupied when you want to use it urgently.

Atleast two people have lost / misplaced their footwear.

When you’re drinking water, someone’s elbow touches your hand and water spills on the most awkward area on your pants.

You give your feedback (if negative) about the food to everyone except the hosts. To the hosts, you will always say - ‘Its excellent’.

You take all these memories back home and recount them later.